Friday, January 9, 2009

I'm bringing Fridays Back!

Ready to get your Friday on?

You ready?

I'm bringing Fridays back!

Our Friday night cocktail hour has gone astray with the holidays turning every day into an occasion for a cocktail, or three, as it were. But tonight we're back!

MMA's been working late all week because business is good and we can't complain about business being good in this economy. So I made a special trip to the store to pick up appetizers for our first real happy hour of 2009.

So for those of you in need of a happy hour at home, but not knowing where to get started, I thought I'd share our menu for tonight and I'm technically talking about food, and its Friday, so I'm back on track. Friday, food.

Here goes:

1. Turkey meatballs from the deli, which I'm going to throw in the crock pot with some beer, picante sauce, bbq sauce and whatever else sounds good.

2. Boiled shrimp, they were big and on sale and I love boiled shrimp; don't you? I make my own cocktail sauce with ketchup, horse radish, garlic, worcestershire and fresh ground pepper. Oh, and a splash of lemon juice.

3. Chips and salsa. I have a new brand to try called "Wholly Salsa." Which has no preservatives and claims to be like home made. I'll be the judge of that.

4. Guacamole, made from scratch. (All though, dang it! I'm out of cilantro.)

5. Grape tomatoes, cheese, olives, wasabi nuts, hummus and crackers (fillers.)

6. Shiner for the man of the house, cranberry & vodkas for me. Wine if needed. Capri Sun for Only Child.

Hope this gives you inspiration for a Friday night happy hour of your own.

Go ahead be gone with it!

Thursday, January 8, 2009

Mysery Solved!

Does anyone else get mysterious grease spots on their clothes? Especially on your shirts in the front where you might mistake them for evidence of sloppy eating?

But then, trying to be more careful at the table, and knowing that you did not soil your clothes while eating, the grease spots continue to puzzle you? Because its uncanny how they show up on even your new clothes, ones that you were extra-protective of...

I had a revelation today. Two actually.

I have a greasy orange stain on my right shoulder. The sniff test revealed it to be a Nacho Cheese Dorito smear. Cool Ranch, yes; Nacho Cheese, not so much. And anyway, as you know, I'm stayin away from that junk

Hmm. Only Child ate Nacho Doritos just before I spanked him. He jumped into my arms, cleaving like a baby koala, and cried into that very shoulder. Seemingly heartbroken. Jedi mind tricks in play, I momentarily felt bad about spanking him. There was monsterly behavior that warranted a spanking (and a puny spanking it was, at that.)

Conclusion A: greasy little hands caused greasy little spots on 1/2 of my working wardrobe (i.e. the good T's.) I used to love wearing the color white. And khaki. Nowadays I'm always wearing black. Go figure!

Conclusion B: He adores me when I spank him. When I try to reason and ask nicely, I get the pay-you-no-mind response, or worse. But when I spank, he responds according to my wishes and as a bonus, I get to cuddle with my too-big-to-cuddle boy.

I refuse to postulate about the damage spanking does to his id or his ego. The kid is plenty confident.

I'm the one with the Pavlovian treat at the end. And the schmears on all my clothes that say, "kid-whipped." (And it does hurt me more than it hurts him.)

Spank as needed and buy more Spray N Wash*

*Interesting Footnote: I never even knew what that was until 3 years ago...

Tuesday, January 6, 2009

I'm Baaack Bitches!

Yes, that was unnecessary profanity (which MMA abhors.) I'm a huge fan of Dave Chappelle and that seems like a Chappellism, right? But there's never a good occasion to bust out with "bitches" live; otherwise I would. So, I thought I'd sneak it in, but by qualifying, it loses the edge somewhat. I'll work on working it in some other way.

Does anyone remember the "Krazee Eyez Killa" episode of Curb Your Enthusiasm? Where Larry (caricatured old Jewish man) gives Krazee Eyez Killa, a Rapper, material for a song he's working on? We loved that one until our DVR, of its own initiative, weeded it out of our TV library. I would link you to the You Tube video, but its far smuttier than I remembered and this is a family blog.

It's so awkward to hear people like Larry and I slang and slur and try to be hip. But, I digress.

I've been away so long I was afraid I would lose my conditional readers. Here's the thing, my computer went haywire exactly one day after I said "Honey, maybe you should back up those digital pictures to the external hard drive. You know, the one my bro got us over a year ago." Fate had been toyed with too long, and a comment like that must be appeased.

One day later I was feeling nauseous at the prospect of losing all my digital pictures out of sheer carelessness. Then, Super Ricardo (names have been changed...) came to my house and CAME TO MY HOUSE and with his valuable skills, saved the day. Way above and beyond, he went! I would like to send him a gift certificate so he can take his lovely wife to dinner sometime, (if I only knew the name of his favorite restaurant...if I could only get a clue from an anonymous commenter.) I would be SO thrilled to show my appreciation to him. It was a near disastrous situation and I really am grateful!

And, I'm back up and running! I've missed blogging, so.

My decorator and I have been hard at work picking out paint colors and fabric for my bathrooms. Now we've moved on to mirrors and fixtures. This is a special kind of decorator, bitches (just doesn't flow, huh?) She sent me home with presents: a new shower curtain and hooks which I love infinitely more than if I'd picked them out myself, because, now they're "designer."

I felt so important walking around the stores with her doling out professional advice. She's really good at tactfully redirecting me when I start throwing around garish suggestions. If I could just get her to act a little more pretentious in Hobby Lobby, so people would know she's the designer, it would fulfill my delusions!

How's everyone doing with the 'ol resolutions? I will admit that on my first day after the New Year's break (I know, a break before I even got started) I went to Chick Fil A...for Only Child's benefit, of course. Isn't that always the excuse? Someone else needs something and I'm wearing the next size up?

So maybe the resolution should not be about eating better, maybe the promise should be about making my well-being a priority, rather than letting the to do's dictate my day and giving myself the greasy left-overs: figuratively, literally.

I could also hone my time-management skills so I don't cry "no time." Work them out, flex those muscles. I haven't kept a calendar of my own in almost three years! All of my appointments and important dates are written on the tacky calendar on the wall in my kitchen. Sloppy. That's about on par with going to the store in sweats and slippers. (Been there.)

But I'm better than that. Tomorrow we start over.

I'm made Pad Thai for dinner (with no MSG.) Only Child said "thank you for making this Mad Pie, mommy. I really like it!"

(Heart Smiling) Good Night!
Stay classy, San Diego.

Happy Birthday, Lee!