Tuesday, August 25, 2009

Baby Mama's Parking Drama (Rant)

I've been delighting in a little evilness lately. What else is new?

I'll admit to being one who looks down my nose at able-bodied people who park in the handicap spots. But lately I've been feeling a little more horsey about it. (Maybe just a little bit entitled to judge as I'm weeble-wobbling along from ten yards back in this blistering, unrelenting heat.)

My family and I were sitting at a restaurant by the window a few weeks ago and we wat
ched this thirty-something guy jump out of his BMW, parking in a handicap spot, when there was a non-handicap spot open that was even closer to the door!!! I guess he's so used to taking advantage of his hang tag he didn't even notice.

One lady I encountered at Target had the nerve to park up front even wearing full work out clothes, jogging shoes, and looking like she just left the gym. I couldn't help myself!

I've started staring people down who don't belong in the handicap spot. Like, really giving them the up, down, once over. Looking over my shoulder at them, silently letting them know "You're wrong for parking there!"

Some people don't have any moral reservations about what they are doing. Most people quickly look away. But, you'd be surprised at how many people make uncomfortable comments, seemingly to thin air, about why they are parked where (they know in their heart) they shouldn't be.

I can't believe my gall. Who am I to make them feel uncomfortable with my Jedi-telepathic silent reproach?

It's so wrong. I know its not my business, but it feels so darn good (even if something inside tells me this behavior is a near cousin to road-raging.)

I hope I don't get shot up for being so snide. I'm not going to stop until I'm not pregnant anymore. (One more month, or so, of being the naughty, self-appointed parking lot police.)

Oh, and if I catch a man in the pregnant lady parking spot during the heat of the day, it won't be a silent disapproval.

We might make the 10 o'clock news! (Can you imagine a crazy pregnant lady going berzerk on some guy for that? Hypothetically speaking, could she then insist on a jury of pregnant peers?)

May I go on?

I threw away the most delightful hour watching two episodes of Kourtney and Khloe take Miami.

Technically its considered reality TV.

Such lovely girls, those Kardashians.

Reality comes to them a little later than most, probably because of the sheltering effect of their trust funds. Now these girls are like 28-30 years old and one's having a flirtation with a bi-chic while professing her heterosexuality, while the other sister is drunk-kissing her coworker and learning how it feels to face up to that the next day at work.

I happened to catch the episode where the foul-mouthed sister finds a vial of cocaine and takes it to the radio station where she works, pops it out of her purse and says on live radio, "Look what I found at my store...drugs are everywhere in Miami..."

Obviously she didn't know any better about normal-people job protocol, but she sure learned her lesson. It was like a modern spin on the Brady Bunch episode where cigarettes fall out of Greg's jacket.

But, you know, with Jan casually calling Marsha (or Carol) a "b!tch-a$$-ho" or some other colorful nickname. And picture Cindy dressed like a prostitute to meet a friend for lunch.

It's just so raw and identifiable what these poor girls face as they claw their way up and hang on for deal life to their media starlet status.

Two thumbs ups.

(And for you really big fans who happen to be little in the middle like the Dash girls, did you know you can buy their gently used clothes on ebay? Seems they are green humanitarians, too!)


Cheri said...

I'm probably someone you would glare at, as I don't look disabled. I am a very young looking 43 and rarely do I need my cane or walker anymore. But I have permanent severe nerve damage from 3 back surgeries in 2006 and can't feel 3/4 of my feet. My balance issues are serious and I can't walk too far. The minute I get in the store (or often in the parking lot), I will grab a cart to help steady myself. I'm thrilled I no longer have to ride in the scooters very much anymore. Talk about getting stares! lol Usually, if you were to walk behind me, you would see me waddling as I cannot bend, lift or twist and sometimes when my muscles are cramping, I walk just like you are right now (being major pregnant, lol). My kids are almost grown though.

Just want to encourage you to remember that not all disabilities are obvious. I do try to park at the furthest from the door handicapped spot I can, but rarely go anywhere alone. Hubby is always with me and can catch me at a moment's notice.

We're not all abusing the placard and I hate the looks I get. I would give anything to have my health back. I have an implanted spinal cord stimulator that constantly emits electrical pulses to help block the screaming nerve pain signals coming from my legs to get to my brain. It helps greatly, or I would never been seen out of my recliner. I miss the old me!!

Jill said...

What about when you pull up to a store and there's 30+ handicapped parking spots, all empty, and the closest regualr spot is in the back of the parking lot? Grrr...

Even though, it annoys me I would never park in a handicapped spot. It's rude and you can get a ticket. People are so stupid.

The Kardashians are very interesting. Trashy but interesting. :)

Aggie2percenter said...

Reality TV? Terrible!
Is it wrong that I park in the "expecting mothers" spot?

Girly Stuff said...

I know people who use their mother's or father's handicap sign when they go to the mall solo.

I have not watched the Kardashian's. But it sounds like a couple of gals John Goesslin might be interested in. He comes with reality show experience too!

chacha said...

You crack me up. These Kardahsian chicks - I mean, who the heck are they? Their claim to fame is 10 times more tenuous than Paris Hilton's and really. She created fame out of nothing so I'll give her that she has some "marketing" ability, but the Kardashians I just don't get. I think people watch them b/c it's like watching some weird alternate reality. And all the names starting with K? What a circus.

I'm with you on the handicrapper spots.

Woman Interrupted said...

Cheri, thank you for gently reminding me that I am not in charge of the world and its not my business who parks where.

I'm sorry that you get dirty looks when you have a legitimate need to park up front.

I will try to curb my outta control self!

But if I catch Aggie2percenter in the preg-o spot...it's ON!

Jill, what you are describing is called Walmart. So, yah, that place is hell no matter what your condition.

Terra said...

Ok, so having just returned from Disney...where SEVERAL families had wheel chairs and were promptly excorted to the front of each and every line (families of 10 sometimes) and then the person would hop out of the wheel chair, wearing flip flops and get on the ride with no assistance...