On Parenting and Marriage

I have taken to antagonizing Only Child for my entertainment. Sick huh? I think I'm doing this out of some sort of passive aggression over his recent demanding behaviour and smart mouth.

He started attending a new MDO in January where he's in a class with "older kids" (4 year olds) and all of the sudden he's telling me off and acting like a brat. Of course, I'm not even considering internal factors from our idyllic home that could have contributed. I'm eager to point the finger at the school, society or someone else's ill-behaved child for contaminating mine. I'm not letting him slide (much) and the constant struggles are wearing me down.

So to infuse a little fun, I started doing this thing where I read his Dora books with a Rosie Perez accent. I get my inspiration from Click the Camera. Only Child gets so mad and hollers at me to "Stop that!" and "No, you're not reading it right! Read it right, Mommy!" Eventually he will snatch the book and slam it closed...He knows there is no "w" in Dora.

Now, I can't stop doing it. I laugh; he gets mad. Eventually he starts laughing, too and then he's mad that I made him laugh when he's trying to be grumpy. I know I shouldn't tease my child, but its so much fun!

The first time I exasperated him with my linguistic-comedic-genius everyone was laughing and MMA was clowning my version of a Puerto Rican accent, claiming it was awful and only sounded right to me (like my singing, then?) He secretly finds it sexy.

One of MMA's favorite Dad-fetishes is the hot little number, Genevieve from Choo Choo Soul. She does five minute fillers between shows on the Disney Channel where she is hip hop dancing and belting out bad kid tunes aboard a make-believe train. Check out her body of work on You Tube if you're not already familiar.

Dad goes ga-ga for her ticket-taker outfit that makes her look like the featured entertainer at a bachelor party. Seriously, I think it has velcro up the sides. He says she's extremely talented and our son agrees. Our house comes to a complete standstill when Genevieve is on TV.

And, somehow we decided that she was Puerto Rican -- I think on account of the hoop earrings and the accent. So Disney is really onto something that could potentially improve my marriage and my parenting skills at the same time.

I wonder if the boys in my house would listen a little better if I sport some big 'ol...........................................................................hoop earrings.